Carol McFarlane Tells Her Story
The Lord will perfect that which concerns me - Psalm 138v8.
I first read those words in another prisoner’s cell the morning I was due to go on trial!
I started reading the Bible in 1983. I was in Armagh Women’s Prison at the time charged with possession of class A drugs. Another prisoner gave me some Christian testimony books. ‘Selected to live’ by Johanna Ruth Dobschiner, ‘The Cross and the Switchblade’ by David Wilkerson and ‘Freed for life’ by Rita Nightengale. Before I was arrested my aunt had given me a Bible which I had kept and had with me when I was arrested. Through reading the Bible I began to see how alienated I’d become from everyone. I agreed with the Biblical diagnosis that my troubles were my own fault and I quit blaming others. When I did it’s as if God and I connected for the first time. The testimony books I read gave me hope. As the product of a mixed marriage in Northern Ireland, I felt I didn’t belong to any specific community, but the more I read my Bible the more I started to believe that God loved me and I mattered to him. I didn’t need drugs and drink anymore!
After I was released from prison, Prison Fellowship (PF) found me and they introduced me to Ken Newell who at that time was the minister of Fitzroy Presbyterian Church in Belfast. With the love and support of Fitzroy and PF I turned to full time study of Fine Art at Belfast Art College. In 1991 as I graduated with an MA in Fine Art, my husband Robert died of cirrhosis of the liver. I lost my interest in art after Robert’s death! The same year that Robert died my daughter Claire became 18. We had been estranged from when she was 6 years old. She was now working in Belfast and we began to build a relationship. Over the years Claire and I have visited each other and we enjoy our times together. We have discovered that we have many things in common and she is supportive of my work in London.
During this time I became involved in CMJ summer missions to Jewish People in London. I had been interested in evangelism to the Jewish people from the outset of my new found faith.
In 1994 I left Belfast to join London City Mission. I trained in Soho and Covent Garden and then went to Kings Cross and latterly to London’s East End. Since my earliest days in London I have had opportunities to reach out to some Jewish people in every area that I have worked in. The whole world is found in London so I have met people from everywhere and have seen people from various nationalities discover the love that Jesus has for them.
I’ve been kept going over the years thanks to support from Fitzroy and other friends in the church, but since Roberts death, I have been battling with self- doubt and depression. It has taken me until now to face up to this.
London has been my home for the past 28years. Presently I am concentrating on homeless and marginalised people. I meet them in the parks and streets and cafes. There are lots of churches in Bethnal Green, Whitechapel and Limehouse where these people need to find a spiritual home without which many will not make it. Some also need a physical home. Part of my work now is trying to connect churches with those in need. I’m often reminded of where I’ve come from and but for the grace of God there go I. Sometimes fearful things happen that cause worry and distress and it’s hard to overcome it but when we see God at work in someone’s heart and mind it’s thrilling and spurs us on again for another while. No two days are the same! Passing on the baton is what I need to be thinking about now as I am 66 years old. Currently my physical health is better than my mental health, but always breaking new ground is still exciting and exhilarating.
Basil Norgate from London City Mission came to Fitzroy for my commissioning service in 1994 and he quoted a text that I have not forgotten despite everything I have experienced since then.
The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.
1 Thessalonians chapter 5 verse:24
Carol McFarlane/ London City Mission/ 2022